Marking Ielts Essay Models

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Task 2: In many parts of the world, children are under great academic pressure from parents. What are the causes and the role of parents in educating children?

In many countries around the world, parents have a propensity to put heavy academic pressure on their children. This once emphasizes the important role of parents in bringing up them and the underlying reasons behind this problem are worth of consideration.

To begin with, there are some reasons explaining why children are having that great strain. First and foremost, most parents want their offspring to fulfill their expectations such as good qualifications or to be on top of many academic papers and standardized examinations and tests. As a result, children are forced to study so many subjects at school. Specifically, after they finish their study time in class, due to the fact that they would tend to spend the rest of time playing outdoor or indoor activities or even video games, which contributes to them ignoring their homework, parents send them to crammers or extra classes with the expectations of helping them to concentrate on their studies. Additionally, owing to studying almost a day, children are hoped to top of their classes so that they could have some excellent certificates after graduation, which helps them have good occupations following to parents’ beliefs.

Therefore, we cannot deny the greatly significant role of parents in educating children. They ought to orient children to choose an appropriate path for their life. To be more particular, parents need to show them severe consequences of crimes and anti-social behaviors so that their offspring could be clearly conscious and avoid doing bad works. Furthermore, parents also should set good examples for children via good manners in life such as in communication with people or active lifestyle. Thanks to this, children could mimic them to become a helpful individual. Finally, children have rights to do whatever they enjoy and parents have to assist them to pursue their passions or interests if the things they do are beneficial and not influential in the sense of community.

In conclusion, there are some principal causes contributing to children’s pressure and the vital role of parents need to be extremely taken into consideration to ease that problem.

The IELTS writing task 2 sample answer below has examiner comments and is band score 9. The topic of social media is common and this IELTS essay question was reported in the IELTS test. Check the model essay and then read the comments.

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society.

To what extent do you agree?

Social networking sites, for instance Facebook, are thought by some to have had a detrimental effect on individual people as well as society and local communities. However, in my opinion, while I believe that such sites are mainly beneficial to the individual, I agree that they have had a damaging effect on local communities.

With regards to individuals, the impact that online social media has had on each individual person has clear advantages. Firstly, people from different countries are brought together through such sites as Facebook whereas before the development of technology and social networking sites, people rarely had the chance to meet or communicate with anyone outside of their immediate circle or community. Secondly, Facebook also has social groups which offer individuals a chance to meet and participate in discussions with people who share common interests.

On the other hand, the effect that Facebook and other social networking sites have had on societies and local communities can only be seen as negative. Rather than individual people taking part in their local community, they are instead choosing to take more interest in people online. Consequently, the people within local communities are no longer forming close or supportive relationships. Furthermore, society as a whole is becoming increasingly disjointed and fragmented as people spend more time online with people they have never met face to face and who they are unlikely to ever meet in the future.

To conclude, although social networking sites have brought individuals closer together, they have not had the same effect on society or local communities. Local communities should do more to try and involve local people in local activities  in order to promote the future of community life.

Comments: This essay shows you the organisation of ideas into paragraphs and also how a clear answer is given in the thesis statement in the introduction and then supported and explained in full throughout the essay. You will also see paraphrasing for advantage / disadvantage language which can be useful for you in other essays. Furthermore, the word length of this essay is typical for anyone aiming for band score 6, 7 or above. Words 280

Useful IELTS Pages for Writing and Other Sections

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